Here are a few philosophies for you

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Here are a few philosophies for you to grin about

1. If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out.
2. Do not worry about what people think; they don't do it very often.
3. Going to a church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car (I like this one)
4. It isn't the jeans that make your butt look fat.
5. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

1. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
2. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
3. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
4. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
5. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
6. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
7. A conscience is what hurts when all other parts feel good.
8. Eat well, stay fit, and die anyway.

1. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it!
2. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
3. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
4. Middle age is when broadness of mind and narrowness of waist change places.
5. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
6. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
7. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
8. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

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